Reign it in Yazdi
Be warned, the following is a rambling post that does not connect and runs-on:
Sometimes I go out of my way to gain attention. This is most evidenced by my most recent twitter rampage. I’ve abused the power of micro-blogging but I will not apologize. Sure my tweets haven’t been insightful, funny, or warranted but I had a good time tweeting. And isn’t that the point?
It’s a quarter to 4 in the morning right now. I am not sleepy. I drank 2 energy drinks at like midnightish and am still awake. I did just get home though. On the way home I had A LOT of thoughts. I do this often. I think too much.
But that’s okay, I over analyze and whatnot. I was going into a spiral of analytics and I snapped out of it. Something pulled me back from the brink, my friend alex had used one of my apps on my iphone to itemize a shopping list for me. Here are the contents: gay porn, lube, dan means bag, more gay shit.
It really brought it back for me. I was like of course, I do need to get this stuff and relax! Maybe it’s just that I should move out of mom’s home. I would feel a lot better doing that. I’m checking the finances to see if it’s possible today.
Also wanted to give a shout out to my friends for telling me to cool it. Here are some choice words, in no particular order:
- Dan Means - “Reign it in Yazdi”
- Kali Lux - “Stop fretting”
- Trey Wrage - “You suck at twitter now. sort your life out”
- Shadow Chi - “Might want to lay off the Bright Eyes”
I am kind of rambling which is okay because it is almost 4am. But this all connected in my head somehow while i was driving.
Don’t drink “Kern’s Nectar”
Hey guys, fun fact of the day. One of the ingredients in some of the Kern’s nectar juices is called “carmine color.” This color comes from the processing of certain scale bugs. That’s right, a coloring component they put in foods and cosmetics that comes from boiling bugs in either water or chemicals….depending on the type of carmine you’re looking for.
Remember kiddies, read those labels. I mean it’s probably not a big deal to be drinking bugs, but only if you’re consenting to it.
Naps
Today I took two one hour naps. It was great. This little post though will not be extolling the virtues of taking naps but rather examining the nap process. Both my naps today involved the same steps leading up to me missing an hour of the day:
- I get a little tired and feel I could close my eyes for a little while.
- I close my eyes and get into a sleeping position I find comfortable. This position must also maximize the “keeping the sun out of my eyes” technique.
- I start to drift, aware that I am indeed taking a nap but could be roused at any moment. I am still in a pre-nap state, but my thoughts are turning more to dreams and such.
- I suddenly feel this, as what can be best described as, drop. It’s almost like I’m thrown into a different state of brain functioning. It’s like becoming ready for the nap to come, and at this stage my thoughts are turning into nonsense with great expediency.
- I feel my limbs drift away and lose their prominence. It’s like I am picking my chips up at the table of the waking world, cashing out, and saying, “I’ll be back later, keep my limbs safe for me.”
- I am napping.
- I wake up later feeling I must have spent the entire day taking a nap, only to realize it’s only been an hour and wishing it had been more.
- Check facebook.
I got the inspiration to do this blog at 4, where the drop suddenly made me realize how awesome the process of napping is. So I took great care to document all the things I found unique or significant about it. Yay, naps!
Ancient history - Or - Why I am like I am
So today I had an interesting day. I went from taping segway polo with the Woz to taping my grandfather talking about ancient history. Ancient being the my great-grandfather’s grandfather. You guys may have heard the story before about how he was the head of a few villages and got buried alive, upside down, in a form of cement for refusing to pay taxes to the king of Iran and then fighting his army and finally being caught up in some mountains.
Well one of his sons had nine wives, and I am from this guy too. From which of the nine wives I’ll never know. But then this guy had some sons and these sons had uncles and cousins and shit. Anyways, the exact relation is hard for me to say, but it’s on tape, there’s this story of my grandfather’s elders. There were two of them, complete opposites according to my grandfather. One he said looked like a white dude and he was one of the best horse riders around. He also was the best gunmen around, my grandfather said he saw him riding around on this horse that was like a black bronco, wild-like, and while his horse was running around this guy would go under the horse and hold on, throw a coin in the air, and shoot the mother fucking thing while it was in the air.
There was another dude who was calm, who was dark as hell and didn’t really cause trouble. He was the opposite of this guy who rode the bronco, he even had a white horse. So these guys always had troubles over ownership of shit saying no this is mine, no this is yours, you shot my cows, that type of shit. People in the village tried to mend the relationship by getting both people to come to a wedding, and it seemed everything was mended.
One day the wild bronco riding whitish guy comes to the house of the dark white horse riding dude and is like lets go out and ride horses. They are gone for a while and my grandfather hears some gunshots. Later the dark white horse riding comes back with the other dude’s bronco in tow. Everyone was like hey what happened? Dark white horse riding huy was like well we got ambushed by thieves, had a firefight, and I am the only guy who survived. I have this bullet wound in my arm to prove it.
No one believed him. Most of the other people liked the other dude or were of morre relation to him so this dark white horse riding guy goes to jail for like seven years for killing this dude. When he comes out my grandfather asks him, “Hey come clean with me, did you actually kill this guy?” Dark guy says of course and my grandfather asks him why.
Well dark guy is like when he asked me to go riding I knew something was off. “We were out in the middle of nowhere and the white dark horse riding guy shoots this eagle out of the air. I ask myself, why is he shooting this eagle out of the air…it must be because he wants to see how his aim is because he’s going to shoot me over some family shit. My horse was faster than his wild bronco, so I figured he was going to have me get in front of him and shoot me in the back. So instead I slow my horse down and let him get ahead of me and I shoot him instead. So I think everything is done, go to grab the horse, and I get shot in the arm I turn around and this guy is still alive and trying to kill me so I shoot him again. The second shot doesn’t put him down, he’s still trying to get up from his knees so then I shoot him in the heart.”
Because of this, family vengenace occured and people came to kill my grandfather and his family. My grandfather was 5 at the time, they were tipped off that people were coming to kill them so my grandfather, at the age of 5 was put into hiding under the house in this secret area for 6 months. After 6 months he and his mother head out for some other village at like 4am.
Awesome.
Sometimes I feel like I’m in a movie
Suddenly while driving home tonight I had an inner monologue inspired by a Belle and Sebastian song, Mornington Crescent. This inner monologue was very reflective. I took a look at myself and asked some really important questions, but they were all staged. Like I was in a movie. Then on queue Beck’s Golden Age came up.
It was like suddenly I had to really think about things, and get sad about them. But I didn’t know what I was thinking about or getting sad about. I tried to pretend like maybe some event at some lame party I was at was causing it. Or maybe the aimless wandering of my soul was being invoked by these two particularly wistful songs.
I thought about all the things I’ve said I was going to do. Where I’m at right now. Who I’ve been and to whom I’ve been. The repeating themes in my life, and the repeating scenes. At that moment, there was a longing in my heart and I think a Mountain Goats song was playing. I thought to myself, what if Belle and Sebastian had a baby with Mountain Goats? The resulting child would be the most introspection-inducing person in the world.
No one would be able to get any work done. Everyone would think that they would need to make drastic changes to their lives every moment. Society would crumble. No amout of bail-outs would help us claw back from the pit of the Moutain Bach baby.
We can’t allow it to happen. For the children.
Drunken review about Headsets/Over the Top
Sometimes I feel like talking to you directly, blog
I try to deny sometimes that you are indeed a blog. That is very mean of me, I apologize blog. You listen to me and allow me to just pour out all my emotions all over the place as if I was a melted popsicle still in the wrapper and then someone still opens me because they’re not paying attention.
I want to gve thanks to you for being there. Where else can i discuss my crazy thoughts without fear of reprimand or water-induced flagellations. I’ve let you go, I know, every since the introduction of twitter and now the ever-demanding facebook. But I promise, I still think about you always. It’s just, well, I have to spread my wings a little. Get my which wet, as it were.
I know you understand because I pay you’re server and hosting fees. Don’t think I’ll ever leave you behind like so many of my friends have done to their blogs. I’m not that kind of guy. I care for you, because you are not a monolith of data collection. You do not care about me only to find out more and share amongst your friends. You keep things to yourself blog, and I love you.
