As some of you know I moved into my new place mid-December.  I’ve been busy with enjoying my life and applying to law school.  I put this blog aside as I no longer live at mom’s.  But people want to know one or two things, why I’m such a loser and whether I’m going to keep this blog going.

Let’s get the loser thing out of the way.  Obviously my memory is going to be a little bit hazy on this subject.  It’s been a little while since I’ve been to South Korea so the sequence of events may not be accurate.
Also I’d like to say there has been a fair amount of interest in this blog series.  Some people are shocked I’d call myself a loser, disappointed even.  Others are enjoying it for their own selfish, self-serving reasons.  Be it out of a spiteful enjoyment or a voyeuristic-schaudenfraude appetite.

To both groups: it’s not what you think.  Basically it went like this, we had an awesome time in South Korea hiking this awesome fucking mountain.  All along the path up were Buddhist temples and at all these temples were ample amounts of kimchi being made.

This particular temple was for a woman deity.

It was a beautiful mountain and man were there a lot of South Koreans on that mountain.

Not just young kids hiking this mountain but straight up people in their hundreds running up this mountain past this group of foreign youngsters.  It was pretty amazing.

Awesome right?

Hiking is apparently one of the national sports of South Korea, who knew?  Anyways after the hike we went with Robin’s cousin down to this incredible duck barbeque place.  The place ruled.

Best meal by far

We enjoyed our time there drinking an alcoholic beverage called Makoli and eating some of the best kimchi I had yet.  May have been the best meal in South Korea thus far.  After that we asked Robin’s cousin to take us to a spa.  This is a past time that Korean’s love.

Basically you pay like 5 bucks and go into this awesome place that has saunas, steam rooms, rooms made of rock, 4 different hot tubs, a cold pool, a therapeutic hot tub, showers, massages, barbers, aroma rooms, a movie theater, places to sleep, a cafeteria, video games, a gym, and a library.  You can spend all day at these places and even sleep over.  Coed so you can hang out with your hunny.

It was at this place our story takes fruition.  After spending the most awesome time hanging out with a bunch of naked South Korean dudes, we left the sauna and headed back to our CouchSurfing spot.  We get back and I realize I don’t have my $2,000 watch my dad gave me.  Fuck.  Luckily we’re staying with someone who speaks Korean so I have her call up the place.

Our CouchSurfing Hosts

It was late at this point and the people on staff said to call back in the morning, there was nothing in the lost and found.  At this point I’m like well fuck.  This cheap trip has just cost me an extra $2,000.  No way is that watch going to last until morning.

The next morning we call and they go look in the locker.  Nothing there they say, sorry two people have since used that locker and may have taken it.  I’m like wait, ask i they checked the shoe locker, because I may have put it all the way back in there.  Presto  motherfuckers, it was there.  Joy!  I LOSE something that big in Korea and I find it.

After we left our CouchSurfer’s home we head into this awesome hotel in the artisan area of Seoul.  Lots of galleries and awesomeness.  On the second night of that hotel we go to this area where all these young Koreans are to drink.  We walk up into a bar that had this fucking crazy name like Remote Control bar or some shit.

It’s tiny with a bunch and full of Koreans. We sit down and on the TV the bartender is playing all these old school rock songs from America.  We are drunk.  This guy is flamboyant and gay.

We order drinks, we brought in food, and we start singing the songs really loud.  The bartender fucking loves this.  He gives us the remote and asks gives us songs to choose and we have a grand old time.  The bartender was WAAAAYYYY drunk.  He gave us all kinds of free drinks and food.  It was an awesome bar.  We head back to the hotel and I realize I left my bag with  my passport at the bar.  Motherfucker not again.  It’s like 2 in the morning, I decided to head back.  I don’t know how we found the bar again, because finding anything in Seoul is like winning the lottery.  I walk in all drunk and the bartender is standing in the doorway with my bag, waiting for me.  He gives me a hug and I thank him and we go on our way.

At this point we’re all fucking amazed.  I mean, I lost my watch and found it with the greatest of luck.  I lost my passport and somehow we found the bar and the bartender was waiting for us to hand it back over.  I felt really fortunate.  My friend Jon, like the asshole he is, says you should write a blog about how you’re such a loser.  So there it is.

I am a loser in the sense that I lost things, not that I hate myself.  I fucking love myself.  I mean, I’ve been really happy recently.  Like that’s a big deal.  I was sitting in my apartment and got this feeling, I had to google it to make sure.  But it turned out that I am happy.  I haven’t been happy in years.

I applied to law school, I’ve lost over 60 pounds, and I have my own place.  I am fucking awesome.  Why would I ever think I’m a loser in the sense that people do on TV?  Pssh.  Suckers the lot of you who assumed otherwise.

Korea had a lot more stories but I waited too long to recount them.  If you wanna know more just ask me.

Now am I going to continue with this blog?  Probably not. I don’t live at mom’s anymore.  So yea, I may start something else or finish another before I come back to this shit.  Thanks for reading this blog over the years guys.  I may be back so keep me on those Google readers.

Some have also commented on this blog directly how I don’t have the facts right.  To those people I say get your own fucking blog and write your own fucking facts.

So on the third day of Seoul we were to meet with Jeong-Il, I guess one of Robin’s students, to this place near North Korea.  The three of us were pretty hung-over from the night before.  Getting anywhere to meet anybody was a problem.  We finally met up with Jeong-Il, lucky for us, we got to take a South Korean bus.

Jeong-Il

South Korean buses are like 100 degrees inside, no one opens windows, and people like to eat sandwiches that have a fragrance that culminates in throw up.  Anyways, after we got off that death trap we were in some place called Heyri.

It’s an awesome architecture village where artists and architects live and do cool things.

That metal surrounds the house

Another example of cool houses

Also in this village is this place:

A place for childrens

That way to the shitter

Obviously Heyri is cool.

Then we went to a place to chop wood and eat barbeque:

Easy for me

BBQ place of chopped wood

Then we wasted a lot of time getting to the place where we were doing couch surfing:

Mango the dog was awesome

Then we went to this tower with Jeoung-Il and her husband and then we got to eat some real deal Korean food in a dirty ass place.  It was awesome.

The tower

View from the tower

Where we had lifesaving foods

Okay so I PROMISE next post you’ll find out why I’m such a loser.  I promise.

On the second day of our trip we headed to Changgyeonggung.  It’s this old ass palace that’s huge and awesome looking.  There are people in front who pretend to be from olden times.  Plus there are killer mountains in the background. (Click “Continue reading” below to keep going)

After doing the whole looking-at-awesome-stuff thing we headed to Insadong.  There we browsed various wares.  After Insadong it was back to our hostel to regroup and grab a bite at this place that was packed the night before.

Of course no one spoke English there and we had no idea what the restrictions on the menu were.  Apparently we had to order certain things in certain ways, eventually we figured it out.  This is what came out:

After this we decided to head over to Sinchon where there was a Hookah bar that we read about it.  Sinchon is fucking awesome.  It is packed with hot Korean chicks, lights, and bars.  Of course the hot Korean chicks aren’t into you because you’re not Korean.

So we try to find this hookah bar and almost give up because the fucking guide book was useless.  We happened upon it only through divine providence.  It was indeed the best fucking hookah bar I’ve ever been to.

Two levels.  Quiet.  Spacious.  The hookahs were great and so were the drinks.  We were having a great time.  But this ended because we tried hanging out with some people in lame Itawon.

This area is where the US forces likes to hang out.  So it’s dirty, tense, and lame.  It’s like being in any other American city.  The first bar we walked into, called Wolf hound or something, people were starting fights with each other and us.

We wanted to head back to Sinchon because it was awesome.  The people we were with gave us a guilt trip.  They said let’s go to the red light district.  We had no idea where it was and tried to find it.  I think we found it but it was lame.  We did find the gay area of Seoul, and this due we were with refused to walk through it.  Like he might turn gay.  We walked through anyways.

At this point I was waaay sober.  So we headed back to Hongdae (where our hostel was because subways were done) and tried to find a bar.  Places were refusing us outright.  Some were open and not letting us in (because we are foreign) and some were just way too fucking expensive (like $300 to go inside).

I don't get why we were being turned away?

We eventually found an awesome bar where the girl bartenders loved us.  None of them really spoke English but we made due.  Eventually they started bringing us out free food just because we were awesome.  They let us hang out behind the bar.  One of them called herself “ugly, ugly” we felt bad for her because she was nice.

Bar fusion, they wanted us to come back

We’re almost too why I’m such a loser, but you have to stay tuned.  We’ll get there.

Seoul, South Korea.  Awesome.  Best trip I’ve ever been on.

(Click the “Continue reading” link below to…well…read more)

When I first got there I was understandably tired.  11 hours on a plane is a long time.  I slept very little the night prior because I was churning “it” out at work to make sure I had everything covered.  Singapore airlines, by the way, fucking rocks it.  I’d totally fly them again.

After arriving at the mosquito infested hostel we (Jon, Robin, Ricardo, and myself) headed out to grab some dinner and begin drinking in Insadong, the artsy area of Seoul.  We started with some beer and soju.  South Korean beer is pretty awful.  Your only domestic options are Hite and Max.  They taste like punishment.

Soju, as my science nerd friends kept pointing out, is basically ethanol.  That is what you drink to get fucked up in Korea since whiskey is a fucking luxury.   We moved on from the restaurant after we had this awesome seafood pancake-omelette like thing called pajeon and other spicy shiz.  Afterwards we decided to hit some bars in some place.  I think we were in Hongdae.  Couldn’t tell you because it was my first night and I was drunk.

That gun would shoot stuff. Just like in the west.

Seoul is crazy.  The streets are filled with people and the bars are all playing annoyingly loud music outside.  Once you step into a bar though, it’s like you’re in a sound proof bomb shelter.  You’d never guess there is a vibrant nightlife outside.  The music they play inside in no way matches what you get outside.

Also very interesting, most places you take your shoes off, even at bars.  Anyways here we drank whiskey.  After debating about the uselessness of science we left.  No taxis were stopping for us.  Korean’s are pretty racist, thankfully a black taxi eventually stopped for us.

Tip #1: Don’t get into any black taxis in Seoul.  Apparently they are luxury taxis and cost four times as much.  Funnily there is nothing luxurious about these taxis other than the fact that the driver hasn’t had an accident in 20 years.  This is actually super impressive in Seoul because people drive like maniacs.  Eventually we headed back and stopped off at the 7-11 to grab some shitty Korean beers.

The night ended with me snoring the night away.

Stay tuned to find out why I am such a loser.

You can check it out here: Click Here

It most likely will be another blog I post on quite a bit initially then let die off.  But here’s hoping to not!

I expect to be made fun of, so, have at it!

Florence of Florence & the Machine

So I could be totally lame for thinking her album pretty much rules.  I don’t care.  Fuck everyone one of you who would listen to Lungs and then say, “Pouria, you’re the worst.”  I mean, you could say that for other reasons and it would be completely valid.  But if the crux of your argument for my worstness was because I think this album totally fucking rocks the shit out of anything else I’ve listened to, and that you disagree, then you would be the worst.

You see how that logic just rocked your shit?  Yea, that’s how deep I roll with philosophy.

So I may be working too many overtime shifts, and I may be at work right now when it’s almost 9 PM, and maybe I might be going even more insane than usual but this album excites me.  For example:

Let me know if she's into me

The South Korean Welcoming Party

Go to some hostel.  Stay there.  Go to some cheap-ass hotels.  Stay there.  Get massages everyday.  Eat Korean BBQ everyday.  Indulge in Karaoke.  Indulge in intoxicants.  Go to places that are cool.  Meet people from couchsurfing.org.  Struggle with the Korean language.  Enjoy myself.  If I have any Korean peeps out there that want to suggest something or want to give me tips, let me know.

For tonight I am having dinner with my grandfather, brother, and mother. We are celebrating the end of Ramadan together. We will either eat Chinese food or Persian food depending on how my grandfather feels.

Then I am heading into the city to go to a show I have VIP passes for, and the show is sold out. It’s at The Independent and it’s the Frightened Rabbit show. But I mainly am there to see We Were Promised Jetpacks. This is a rock show with three Scottish bands. Should be awesome. Especially cuz it’s free, for me.

Then tomorrow I am going to the Brentwood Farmer’s Market as it is Saturday and it is Brentwood. I will wander around and purchase some produce. Then I will head into the city during the afternoon to hang out with Chi, Note, and Borne as she is going to be known in this post.

Then after hanging out and getting dinner we’re going to go see Patton Oswalt at the Masonic Center. After that we will most likely indulge in revelry.

Then on Sunday I am going to watch football, then I am going to a party at some space center or something. That should be fun. Gonna be looking at stars and having free foods and drinks.

Then technically not part of the weekend, though something I am looking forward to next week is Bon Iver on Tuesday and a massage on Thursday…also payday. Yes.

All these things excite me.

Pretty crazy

I don’t know if you guys watch Korean movies, but you should.  If you haven’t checked out The Host then do yourself a favor, check it out.  This is an awesome movie about the Korean war from the perspective of two South Korean brothers.  The scenes are so graphic it’s almost like a zombie flick.  Gotta love them Koreans.