Everyone always asks me…
What’s it like being Persian? Well let me tell you, it’s exactly like this:
Let’s start a trend that doesn’t kill us
Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization
What goes through T-Dub’s mind…
When he watches the olympics
On weddings and stuff
So this past weekend I experienced a few things. One, being drunk a lot. Two, various thoughts that make you surprised at yourself. Three, returning alcohol. So let’s see, the weekend started on Thursday night for me. I escorted Hamed and his Packard to Sonoma. We didn’t get in until 10:30pm. Sonoma is a small-ass-town. Tiny. Where am I going with this post? Oh yea, people who are getting married and are in love with each other are precious. Really.
I am going to move away for a little while. I’ve got to apply to law school. I almost got into a fight in a bar in Sonoma. I thought I had a lot to write. I don’t. I was going to right some really profound shit but really there is no urge. My thoughts are on selling my stuffs and getting out of dodge right now. Meet you guys in Bergamo.
Post #102
So yea. Lots of things have happened in the past couple of days, but the biggest thing would be resolution. I feel good, and am ready to put celibacy behind me. It was a long stint, and I feel a lot closer to myself.
Here I am, on the verge of being a best man. A broke-ass best man who only wants to use his monies for booze, but the vineyard that he is going to does not allow hard alcohol so he will have to buy a flask to take with him which will leave him with less monies. I’m that kind of best man.
I also feel good with all the questions that are being posed by life currently:
- Will Trey move?
- What will happen if he does?
- What kind of renaissance will occur in SC after the departure of Trey?
- What of Alex Roome? How will he adapt to Portland?
- Who will I hang out with once Alex is gone?
- Who do I break my celibacy with?
- Should I finally move out of my mom’s?
- Where would I go?
- Would I move to the city, oakland, berkely if others were going?
- Would I go by myself?
- Should I start krav maga?
- Should I get an iphone or something completely different?
- Do I even like the Iphone?
- Should I have grown up going to black church and getting really dressed up on Sundays?
- Maybe I should start designing yazdi styled merchandise?
- Could I fashion hats?
- Will my friend Jon be happy?
- Will my best man speech fuckin’-rock or just fuckin’ rock?
- How drunk can one get?
To further prove my celibacy
I just deleted about 50gb of porn from my computer…that is too much porn.
I am not one who does well in love
It’s hard to write posts when you want to respect the privacy of others, especially when those specific others may read this post. It’s weird how we restrict ourselves due to what someone else might read. I digress.
I think I have resolved to be celibate for a while. Today was the last day I hung out with a girl who I liked. I let the all-destroying phrase out of my mouth last night, “I don’t believe in love,” and it may have played part in the finalization of the brief time I spent with her. Who knows? Well…I do.
I may have pushed a bit for sex, manipulated for it slightly, but so what? It’s what people do right? They meet other people, they like each other and have a good time, and after a few weeks they sleep together. I didn’t cross any boundaries or disrespect any wishes. But what people don’t say to each other is, “I don’t believe in love.”
I may have lasted less than a minute in bed last night, but what can I say? I haven’t had sex in over a year. Now I know that performance didn’t play a part in the end of this interaction, but I feel in the interest of full disclosure for myself, I mention it.
I won’t hash out what exactly happened for now, in the interest of respect. If you want to know, give me a call. But I just don’t think I can really be in any relationship. I won’t lie to someone and say I love them, and I don’t want to be a liar. I just don’t think I can find someone who doesn’t connect sex to love. Maybe I am in the wrong here, maybe I should be connecting sex with love. That is why I am leaving pussy my friends. No longer a concern for me.
I don’t have the ability, time, urge, understanding, for confusing emotions. On the one hand I am glad it’s done. There were warning signs and I didn’t heed them. But damnit. I am disappointed. I liked her. Big deal.
Edit:
I thought I’d include this. I went from meeting this girl. To really liking her and possibly seeing long-terms with this, to being told that fun is just where we should keep this. To treating it like fun, and then being told that she isn’t looking for just fun. It had to be me.
I am a sucker when it comes to comics
I go into the comic book store and always leave with at least one thing I should not have picked up. What is wrong with me?
Reign in Hell
Keith Giffen, Tom Derenick, Bill Sienkiewicz
This is the one I should not have picked up. Truly a piece of shit. I couldn’t help myself. Sometimes I like to think I like comics about Hell. What with Sandman, Preacher, the one about the guy and the hell thing…but this one was shit. I was fooled by the marketing, I’m sorry. I said, Keith Giffen, that’s a familiar name MUST be good. I looked at the tag llne “Burn in Hell…Rage in Hell…Reign in Hell” and said to myself, “I can get down with that.” Wrong move Yazdo, poor poor choice. I couldn’t even finish this thing. I did not care, the writing was really poor and their was shit happening as if I was supposed to figure out the missing continuity. LAME. i put it down after getting frustrated with it. I couldn’t figure out if the revolt was happening in Hell, Purgatory, or in both. Lame.
Northlanders #8
Brian Wood, Dave Gianfelice
Unclimactic climax. This was like a handjob. A comic-book handjob.
Black Panther #39
Jason Aaron, Jefte Palo
I’ve been patiently waiting for this one, and verily, I was rewarded. I have a hard-on for Jason Aaron, big deal. It is not unwarranted, he is only the hottest comic book writer around right now. I don’t know anything about this whole secret invasion bullshit other than skrulls are around and taking over shit and everyone is confused. What I do know something about is a fine comic, and this is a fine comic. Apparently, Black Panther can be written well and he can be cool. The best line of dialog goes thusly:
“I have trained my entire life to face you.” - Enemy guy
“Then you have already lost. For I have trained my entire life to face the unknown.” - Badass Black Panther.
Wolverine #67
Mark Millar, Steve McNiven
Another one I’ve been anticipating. I realized the art is annoying. McNiven keeps doing these really expressive closeups at different angles so you can different parts of the eye, or a scar, that you’ve never seen before. But then it becomes like…gay. What I did like about this was the story, I had no idea where it was going to go, and no idea it was going to go the way it did, until like the third to last page. Which is a good thing. To keep someone guessing or throw something in that’s actually entertaining makes for real good reading.
Tim Meadows
I’ve decided to watch things that don’t look recognizable on Hulu. Here’s a clip I created easily on their site.
Bronson gets a star, it’s no big deal
Couldn’t embed, cuz asshole poster has it disabled
